Photo Credit: healthyeating.sfgate.com
Photo Credit: healthyeating.sfgate.com

Vickie’s Editor’s Note: Corn babies

In desperation, I have endured this last year of high school sitting in my usual spot, with my usual friends, watching these kids who dream of jobs as airplane engineers shooting little pieces of food at people. Just small artifacts such as corn pieces or olives, nothing too major is usually released. As soon as the little flying artillery lands in the middle of a group or, even better, catapults into people’s bodies or food, the mission is over. Oh, but the group now has something great to talk about; the way the corn kernel just soared through the air like a liberated prisoner from its grounded hold. Fly free, corn baby!

Now, while I’m utterly charmed that these young adults find such trivial pursuits of entertainment funny, I’m extremely tempted to take the “adult” away from their generous title. The reason for me beginning this letter with “in desperation” was because I had been hoping, just wishing with all my heart and soul and corn kernels that this would slow down by mid-year, maybe even stop by the time finals came around. I don’t think my wish is coming true this year. Try again later.

But onto a bit more serious sarcasm, is it really that much to ask for classmates who aren’t stuck in fourth grade? Disrupting other people’s lunch is rude to them and to the janitorial staff who work day in and day out to keep this school from becoming a petri dish of year-round sicknesses. And come on, guys, you’re still throwing food at people? We’re not in high chairs anymore. I think we can entertain ourselves with something more sophisticated than “Look, food went nyoom. Food go splat. Ohohoh.”

For all you kids who are seeing exactly what I’m seeing—a.k.a., toddlers stuck in high schoolers’ bodies—the best thing to do now is to tell an adult in the school and let them know that these kids are bothering others. Besides that, just let them be. Don’t yell at them or get angry; and God forbid you throw food back—that just stoops you down to their level. Throwing food at random kids is a very basic form of bullying, but it’s also a very impersonal one.

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Although, who knows? Maybe they just want to set their corn babies free.

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    Topanga McBrideMar 7, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    Not what I expected when you said you were writing an article about corn, but I do applaud it 🙂

    Reply