To me, comfort is a warm blanket and a hot cup of tea resting in my hand. Being alone, but not lonely, comfort is familiar. With peace in my mind and no questions left to answer, comfort is something I seek but can never grasp. And while I dream of the warmth that comfort brings, entering this year was like jumping into ice water.

I am uncomfortable with imperfections, with silence, and with time passing slowly. These things are inevitable, but feel magnified in the newsroom while deadlines approach and news quickly becomes stale. And when you are the leader, these worries become your responsibility. 

Although the possibility of leading the class was constantly in the back of my mind since I began writing for Etched in Stone, this uncomfortable idea becoming reality as previous leadership moved on still felt exhilarating. Melissa and I began planning eagerly this summer, but this enthusiasm morphed into anxiety as the school year approached. The doubt weighing us down was not created by distrust in our staff or our advisor; instead, it was the belief we placed upon ourselves that the success of the paper was weighing on our shoulders alone.

In this confusion, I forgot the nature of journalism. The foundation of journalism is discomfort, unacceptable truths that force you to take action. This theory is easily applied to my newfound role. 

When you say something that is met with silence or your attempts result in mistakes, all you can do is sit in the discomfort. There is no resisting it, you can only choose to embrace it.

Ultimately, whether it be through the articles we write, the community that we create, or the future leaders we guide, all I wish for is to make a tangible difference in this paper. This definition of success is uncomfortable, yet worthy of all the struggle, doubts, and confusion.

Writing and sharing people’s stories will continue to be priceless to me, and the opportunity to share that passion with other journalists is worth any challenges that come with the title “Editor in Chief”. I wish I could say that being a leader in the paper is becoming easier, more comfortable. Each day still brings insecurity and questioning. But with every one of these thoughts, I remind myself to embrace the changes. After all, the growth that I desire even more than comfort is impossible without a little resistance.