Whether you’re gay or straight, a teen or an adult, married or divorced; parenting is a universal skill acquired by many. I interviewed various types of parents including a homosexual couple, engaged teen parents, a parent employed as a teacher, multicultural parents, and a single parent. I discovered that while parenting styles seem diverse on the surface, they all have the same end goal: to raise happy and healthy children.

   Meet the Muellings, a family consisting of three boys (Tomas, Tad, and Peter) and two mothers (Cindi and Barb). Cindi and Barb are not married, but have been together more than twenty years and have raised three sons together. Their oldest, Tad (23), was carried by Barb while the younger twins, Tomas and Peter (18), were carried by Cindi. However, the boys did have the same donor DNA, so Tad and the twins are half-brothers.

   La familia of Yadira Gabby Chavarria and Daniel Acosta both attend Fossil Ridge High School. Gabby and Daniel got engaged in November of last year, and they have a 3 month old baby named Daniel Eduardo. Both parents are finishing out their senior year at Fossil, and both hope to work and further their education after graduation. Gabby plans on attending Cosmetology school and Daniel plans to go into welding or livestock judging.

   Bonjour! The Bonhoures are a multi-cultural family who are French-speaking Europeans that reside in America raising their Asian daughter, Anne (17). Martine and Philippe Bonhoure adopted Anne from Vietnam when she was 3 months old and they lived in France until she was 5. French is Anne’s first language, but she’s fluent in English, as well.

   A busy family of four, Amy Reed is a single mother raising her three children, Katie (15), Kristen (13), and Johnny (10). The Reed’s parents have been divorced for a year, and are adjusting to a new lifestyle of raising a family and handling parenting duties in two different households. The kids switch between houses and both parents still are heavily involved in their kids’ lives.

   Caring for her kids both at home and at work, Elaine Bejcek is not only a mom but also a Family and Consumer Science teacher at Fossil Ridge High School where her son, Mark, attends school. Elaine and her husband Kent have two teenage boys, Mark who’s a freshman and Ryan who’s in middle school. This is the first year that Elaine is teaching at the same school her son is attending.

   When it comes to parenting styles, all of these diverse parents have different ways of raising their kids and making sure they perform to the best of their abilities.

    “Be a parent first, be a friend later,” is Cindi Muelling’s motto when it comes to parenting styles. Cindi travels almost every week for her work, but is always at home on weekends. Since she’s away so often, she worries that she’s too lenient sometimes when it comes to parenting, but also believes she’s given her sons enough space to grow. “I like to think I give my sons room to make their own mistakes, and learn from those mistakes. Hopefully, I have given them the tools they need in order to make good decisions,” Cindi said.

    Martine Bonhoure describes herself as a ‘friend’ parent. She doesn’t have a specific style but believe it’s important to encourage their daughter and be involved in her life. The Bonhoure’s main goal in parenting is to, “make Anne happy and give her the best opportunities we can [for her to] have the life she will enjoy.”

   “We discuss things with our boys. It’s their lives, and I’ll guide them, but not direct them,” Elaine Bejcek said, when describing her parenting style as diplomatic. She wants her sons to be able to advocate for themselves but at the same time be able to come to their parents when they need guidance. The one parenting style Bejcek doesn’t agree with is the helicopter parent type. “[Helicopter parents] don’t let kids care for themselves. This is the age for kids to fail and learn how to pick themselves back up again.”

   “I’m very involved with my kid’s lives. I’m big on communication and I like to think they can come to me about anything,” Amy Reed said. Much like Bejcek , Reed believes in giving guidance and assistance to her kids when they need it, but also letting them do things for themselves. “The important thing is to have a relationship with your kids. It’s more than just feeding and caring for them. It’s about providing them with a safety net to fall back on, but hoping you’ve raised them well enough to make those decisions on their own.”

    Gabby and Daniel, being brand new to parenting, couldn’t come up with a specific style of parenting. They both agreed that parenting for everyone comes with its own challenges.  “I think its hard being a parent any time, no matter the age. School makes it harder though. Being a parent is a hard job, and giving [your child] everything is what’s most important,” Gabby said. Both agree though that they wouldn’t change a thing.

   Despite having similar principles and the universal understanding of loving one’s children and raising them well, these families still have diverse qualities that make them quite unique.

   Tomas and Peter Muelling both said people often ask what it’s like to live with two moms. For them, they see it as no different than being raised in a household with a mom and a dad. Tomas believes that the only noticeable difference is that he and his brothers were raised with a much higher respect for women than normal.

   “I think it’s a double edge sword,” Cindi Muelling said, “On one hand, I think [my sons] have more respect for women, and know that they are every bit as capable as men. On the other hand, it’s difficult if they ‘know’ how to be men. I can only hope we’ve done our best.”

   Cindi explained that while the boys might not have had a father growing up, they did have positive male role models to learn from. For Tomas and Peter, having their older brother Tad has always been someone to look up too.

    Despite many of society’s misconceptions of gay or lesbian parents, in the case of the Muellings, their households are run very similar to straight parents’ households. Cindi believes that she and Barb fall into very traditional parenting roles with one of them being more lenient and one more strict. She doesn’t think that has to do with gender of the parent, but more the personality of the parent. Muelling believes that their parenting mirrors a very similar style to that of a traditional household, accept for the fact that, “we are able to teach a little more tolerance for people that are different [in our household]. I think it helps the boys to learn quickly who their real friends are since some people definitely take out our situation on the kids…. right or wrong, that’s just the way it is.”

   While the Muelling house is full of teenage boys, the Chavarria /Acosta household is filled with one new baby boy. Gabby and Daniel are taking on everything from high school to work to raising a family; much more than the average teenager has to juggle.

    “It’s hard knowing what’s best for him and balancing time with him and everything else,” Daniel said. Both still attend Fossil and plan on graduating with the rest of the seniors in May. They’re also engaged and will plan a wedding eventually. But for right now, they are enjoying every single moment with their new son.

      “All the new things he does are my favorite. Every time he sees us and smiles, I know it’s worth it,” Gabby said, “I was so happy when we found out we were having him. Scared, but happy.” Baby Daniel is gaining weight  and downs six bottles of milk a day. Gabby explained how she loves watching him grow up, but at the same time wishes he was still little.

   While the parents are at school, Gabby’s mom and grandmother watch baby Daniel. Daniel also works, and will continue to work until Gabby finishes cosmetology school. Then, he hopes to go into welding or livestock judging. For both of them, schooling is incredibly important and they want their son to know that.

    “School’s the one thing you really need. It’s a huge benefit to anyone who can get an education, Daniel and I go because we know it’s important. And we will tell our son when he’s older that if we managed to stay in school, so can he,” Gabby said. In the end, both parents just want their son to grow up well and happy.

      “Our parents weren’t happy in the beginning, but they’re very supportive now,” Daniel said, “It was scary at first, but the moment he was born I knew we were doing the right thing.” Ten years down the road, Gabby and Daniel hope to be married and working, providing a full life for their son. They hope to be financially stable and work as hard as possible to make sure their son has a good life. In the end Daniel said, “You just have to keep going, keep your head up. Do what’s best for your kid.”

     While some families are just starting out, other ones like the Reed’s are entering a new chapter in their lives. Amy Reed and her ex-husband divorced last year and are discovering how to parent between two households. Their time with their three kids is split 50/50, and the Reed’s father and mother both live in Fort Collins.

   “It’s all brand new, and it’s only been a year, but I still have the same expectations, relationships, discipline, and hopes for my kids. My parenting style didn’t change in that regard. I don’t have anyone helping me now, so it might be more to take on, but it’s still manageable,” Reed said. Reed has a high schooler, middle schooler, and an elementary school aged child so she’s kept busy making sure each child gets time with their mom.

   “My own mother raised me single, so I do know that my daughters still need that male father figure. My son, too,” Reed said. Both mom and dad still go to everything together and still communicate on good terms. Reed explains that you have to communicate and cooperate together in order to be on the same page and make sure the kids are getting everything they deserve.

    “The divorce was a heartbreaking time. The hardest thing even to this day is worrying about the kid’s being confused, thinking it was their fault, or being afraid to complain about one parent to another. It’s hard on me, and I wish they didn’t have to go through that,” Reed said. But despite the recent hardship, the family still remains happy and strong. Reed loves seeing her kids be passionate about things. She still loves spending time with her kids and talking to them about their days, she believes a strong relationship and good communication is most important when it comes to raising kids. The only thing Reed doesn’t enjoy about parenting is the worry that comes along with it. “You want what’s best for them, but you worry about letting them go. You have to let them have sleepovers, go shopping, go to homecoming, go to parties… but it’s still scary. I hope I’ve given them enough to make the right decisions.”

     While the Reed house is packed with siblings, the Bonhoure household is home to only Martine, Philippe, and their daughter Anne. Technically, Anne actually has seven brothers and sisters, but they live in Vietnam. Anne was adopted as a young baby by the Bonhoures, and they raised her in a French world. Although they live in America now, they are still heavily involved in French culture and speak French at home. Anne may have lost her accent, but her French culture still plays an active role in the Bonhoure’s lives.

   When the Bonhoures had trouble having kids, they were told of a family in Vietnam that was looking for parents to adopt their baby girl, Queyen, whose name would be changed to Anne. Anne does not possess much desire to learn more about her biological family but has pictures and stays in contact with her biological sister who was also adopted by another French family.

   Martine Bonhoure believes that her daughter’s multi-cultural experience has affected her positively. She’s been exposed to more cultures, values and experiences which she believes makes her a better well-rounded young woman. “She’s had a chance to experience things outside of the box and from a different angle,” Bonhoure said, “Anne has been raised in a French family and we hope she’s been influenced by it. We visit France often and we have lots of family members from France who come to visit often as well.”

   When it comes to European expectations on raising a child, they don’t vary too much from American expectations. The Bonhoures said that while European expectations are bit stricter, they still just want Anne to be happy with whatever she decides to do. While they both hope that she ends up wanting to be a doctor, they will be happy with whatever Anne decides to do as long as she applies herself. Also, they believe it’s important that their daughter stays active and fit, which is also heavily influenced by the European views. In France, a higher expectation is put on sports, physical fitness and performing well on academics than it is here in America. However, at the end of the day, the Bonhoures just hope to raise Anne to the best of their abilities.

   “We just want Anne to be as happy and successful as possible. We hope she has learned to always try her best and to never give up,” Bonhoure said.

   While some families branch out across cultures, other families branch out from home to work. In the Bejcek’s case, Elaine is a Family and Consumer Science teacher at Fossil Ridge High school, the same school her son, Mark, attends. Dealing with family in the home is one thing, but expanding that to the workplace and school is another. Bejcek though says it’s been a very positive experience overall.

   “It helps because it provides a safety net for the kids. Especially with Mark being here where I work, I think it helps him a lot. He’s a lot needier than my son Ryan. He even leaves his backpack in my office,” Bejcek said fondly, pointing over her son’s backpack. Teaching in the same place one of her sons goes to school hasn’t affected her parenting much at all. She tries to keep school, work and life at home separate and encourages Mark to be spirited and involved in the things he wants to be involved in. For example, Bejcek is the club sponsor for Family, Career, and Community Leaders of America (FCCLA), but Mark decided to join DECA instead of her club. But, Mark is still in his mother’s advisory class, and enjoys her cookies that she makes for that class just as much as his classmates.

  “It’s important that we teach our sons how to advocate for themselves and be able to handle themselves in the adult world,” Bejcek said. Being a teacher has influenced her parenting style in the sense that it’s taught her to guide her children, but not to do things for them. It didn’t influence her choice on whether to have kids though. At first she thought she was going to adopt, but later she and her husband, Kent, decided to have kids.

   “Teaching isn’t so hard, it’s watching [my kids] grow up and caring for them, that’s the hardest job I have,” Bejcek said, “They say the happiest day is your wedding day, but the best for me is the birth of my kids and knowing that they were healthy.”

    Although all these families are raising their kids in a variety of environments, their fears and hopes for their children run a very similar course. Out of all the parents interviewed, every single one agreed that they just want their children to be safe, happy, and healthy. They all also seemed to agree that the favorite parts of parenting, as well as the scariest, was watching their kids grow up before their eyes.

    “My favorite thing has been watching those helpless little beings turn into young men with ideas and opinions of their own,” Muelling said.

    “I love taking care of them, nurturing them, giving them experiences and watching them grow. Seeing them develop new passions and ideas; that’s my favorite,” Reed said.

   When it came to fears about parenting, one again they all agreed that fretting over their child’s well being was scariest. From the brand new parents to the ones who have been parenting for over 20 years, they all corresponded in their fears when it came to parenting.

   “For us when Daniel gets sick it’s really scary. He’s just a baby and he can’t tell us what’s hurting him or how we can help him. That’s what’s scariest right now,” Gabby and Daniel said. Although they are new to parenting, their answer matched right up alongside those of the older parents.

    “I just don’t want anything bad to happen. No tragedies. We have to let our kids try new things and gain experience, but I still worry,” Bejcek said.

    After having a glimpse into the diverse worlds of five very different families, they might have some very unique aspects that make up their households, but the principles and love that hold them together are very much the same. All of the families had similar explanations for what defines a family, and that further proves the point that it doesn’t matter what kind of race, background, or sexual orientation you are as a parent. What matters is that you raise your kids to the best of your ability. It didn’t matter to any of these parents that they were not raising their children in a traditional household, what mattered is that they are raising their children with love.

   “Family is always family, and not something transient,” said Cindi Muelling. “I’ve always believed in the saying that people come into your life for a ‘season’, a ‘reason’, or a ‘lifetime’. Family is definitely a lifetime variety.”