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“He cheated on me.” “I asked her out.” “We got into a fight.” “We broke up.” “She’s moving away.” The wonderful, bittersweet, and sometimes nasty words of love and lust can be heard up and down the halls of Fossil Ridge High School. At this time in human development when girls don’t have cooties anymore and the boy who used to pull every little girl’s hair now is looking quite attractive, high school becomes a mess of relationship statuses. Each high school’s unique culture and student body defines what’s accepted in a relationship and what’s not. FRHS holds its own unique canvas of relationships.
The saying “opposites attract” does not hold true at FRHS. In a survey of students’ views on relationships, every student said they look for similarities between them and their partner, whether it is an obsession with Harry Potter or a similar personality. After similarities, the most common desires in a partner included intelligence, humor, and attractiveness.
Juniors Ryan Harty and Emily Monaldi would not know each other if it weren’t for their similar interests. According to Monaldi, their relationship only exists because of “robots.” The couple’s relationship revolves around robots. Harty and Monaldi met in middle school when they were on the same First Lego League team. They lost touch, but started talking again the end of sophomore year. They were in First Robotics Competition and would talk to each other about their robot, leading to their closer friendship and finally relationship.
Harty’s main focus is robotics. While Monaldi still is involved, she has a bigger focus on technical theater. This leads to conflicting schedules and little time together. “She’s very busy when I’m free and I’m busy when she’s free,” explained Harty. “It’s just amazing we can keep a fairly healthy relationship going despite the fact we end up on completely opposite schedules.”
Since their relationship started three months ago, Harty and Monaldi have had issues with this schedule conflict. “The fact that we don’t get to do things very often [is a problem], which is kind of frustrating when you want to actually get to talk to somebody, get to know somebody more, and you’re doing something completely different all of the time,” said Harty. To make up for the lack of time together, the two send texts, call, and hold video conferences. “We talk a lot and we text a lot,” said Monaldi. “I hate [how we text so much.] I’d rather talk to him on the phone and actually see him.”
Even though the couple hopes their relationship continues to work out, they have their priorities. “Unfortunately, as much as I do like her and I do want to spend time with her, career has to come first and what I want to do with my future,” said Harty. “It’s an unfortunate reality that you have to take care of your career first and that’s robotics.” Monaldi understands this and admits that theater has to come first for her. Majority of students at FRHS think the same way and are not looking for a very serious relationship.
Freshmen Riley Norlin and Kayla Mae know just how hard it is to find time, but face a bigger problem: different schools.
Norlin transferred to FRHS this year, leaving his girlfriend of ten months at Windsor School District. The two have kept their relationship going despite the change. Both say it’s been hard to keep the relationship. “Making time to see each other is hard just because there’s distance and planning and time that go into seeing each other,” said Norlin. “When you’re at the same school, you can see them every day and say hi and that’s a little bit harder now.”
To make things work out, Norlin brings Mae with him to church and they help each other out at each other’s houses over the weekends. Mae says that there are some benefits to not seeing Norlin as much. “Well the easiest thing is when we are together you realize why you are going through it in the first place.”
However, if the two were farther away, they don’t know how well their relationship would hold up. “It probably wouldn’t work, but we’d try. It may be possible. It’s worth trying, it’s always worth trying,” said Norlin. Lucky for them, the two are only separated by different schools. Mae says it’s a relationship worth keeping. “It is absolutely worth keeping this relationship. He means the world to me and I never want to lose him.”
Not everyone has near as happy of a relationship like Norlin and Mae’s. Junior Lana Sarah* knows. Sarah and her boyfriend had been together for almost two years when things started going downhill. However, they kept their relationship going because they had already been together so long. Six months of declining happiness led to a big fight. “Everything just blew up,” said Sarah, “I found out information that he was cheating on me with another girl.” Sarah broke up with her long-term boyfriend right after that and has not talked to him since that day. “For two months [I was] depressed. It’s still hard to think about it because it was so disappointing.” Things were hard for Sarah. She held a short relationship with another guy, but couldn’t trust him because she was “worried it was going to happen again.”
Sarah thinks her now ex-boyfriend cheated on her because he wanted a way out of the relationship. “We just weren’t in love anymore,” said Sarah. Her boyfriend didn’t know how to end the relationship after such a long time and moved on before breaking things off.
Though Sarah said good-bye to her boyfriend two years ago and has been with her current boyfriend for more than a year, she still has her doubts. “I still have the thought of what if I’m not good enough for him.” However, she says her current relationship is a much better one full of trust.
For many students who took the survey, trust is a must in a relationship. Many want to be accepted for who they are and can trust their partner to be there for them. With it hard to find someone who accepts them, many students are single, wishing for someone who is worthy of a relationship. Bryan DeWar, junior, knows how hard it is to get into a relationship in high school. An openly gay student, DeWar says it’s harder to find someone else for him. “When you’re in high school, [gay students] are harder to come across because it’s a scary stage to come out.” However, DeWar said everything was ok when he announced he was gay. “[My friends] told me they knew it, even though I know they didn’t…They are all really supportive. I’ve never had one person ever come up to me and be negative.”
Just like most students in the survey, DeWar is looking for someone who accepts him and is there for him. “[In a relationship, I look for] somebody who I can trust, somebody who I know is always going to be there for me, [and] someone who never makes me feel bad for some quality I have that may not be perfect.”
So what really is a relationship like at Fossil Ridge? According to these students and those who took the survey, it’s one of acceptance of each other, compromise, trust, hard work, similarities, and sacrifice. It’s not always the easiest. It may not work out. It’s a time for learning the ropes and creating new bonds and making mistakes. It’s young love. And yet with all of the similarities, every relationship is completely different and unique, an experience all its own.
Having issues with a relationship? Peer Support meets in the East Wing office every Friday to help their peers with problems, including relationships. Contact Laurel Beaty at [email protected] for more information.
*Lana Sarah’s name has been replaced to protect the identity of her and her ex-boyfriend.
