Ahhh, the selfie. Otherwise known as someone (any gender) taking a picture of themselves and only themselves. Recently selfies are getting, if anything, weirder. Maybe it’s because there is just so many ways to take a selfie. Here’s a brief explanation for each.

The Normal Selfie

This genre of the selfie is smiley and attractive. Let’s face it; nobody posts a selfie on any social media outlet if it’s bad. These are straightforward, literally, and effortless.

The Duck Face

Maybe it’s blown over by now, but hounding for the Duck Face was HUGE. Basically, the Duck Face is achieved when one (almost always a girl) makes a kissy face. Just pucker up like you’re going to kiss someone. But it doesn’t just stop there. After this kissy face is made, the duck-facing-person must stick her lips out even farther, forming a pursed mouth into the shape of something that resembles a duck bill. Hence the term “Duck Face.” After Duck Face level is achieved, the participant might also include a nice eyebrow raise, or even chuck in a peace sign just for fun.

The Bathroom Selfie

Even though the porcelain throne, also known as a toilette when you’re reading something by a normal person, lurks in the background, the bathroom selfie is a go-to when you just feel pretty. Or, if you want to show off your outfit and add the hash tag #OOTD (Outfit Of The Day) which has over 16 million pictures alone on instagram. You stand there, usually tilt your head to the side and look at yourself in the mirror, while in one hand, or two, you hold whatever you’re taking the picture with. Usually it’s a phone or digital camera, but every once in a while you get to see someone using their massive iPad, and to be honest, it just looks so odd! Might as well drag your clunky laptop into the bathroom and use the webcam.

The Gang Sign Selfie

Whatever the gang and whatever the race, tossing up gang signs between you and the picture you take of yourself are not cool. Nor will they ever be cool. That’s all I have to say about that.

The Beach Feet Selfie

This selfie earns the right of being the most fun to post yet the most infuriating to see. When someone posts this selfie, it’s with their feet pointing toward the ocean, so they are obviously lying on the beach. The amount of jealousy that seeps through onlookers’ blood at witnessing the person’s relaxation in paradise is almost unbearable. It’s not as bad during the summer, but if you’re casually scrolling through your social media feed during a harsh winter week in Colorado it can be detrimental. You stumble upon a friend or classmates perfectly pedicured feet sprinkled with sand in front of crystal blue waters, baby blue skies and lush greenery framing the scene, and it takes almost all of your might not to sob. While onlookers sorrow in literally cold sadness, whoever posts these can snicker once they click the post button and at every like their picture gets. Posers.

The Gym Selfie

It’s awkward enough taking selfies in public, but when I see someone post a mirror selfie from the mirror at the gym, I just cringe. There are so many people at the gym at all times, so when my mind travels to what this person must have looked like standing in their sweaty clothes (though I’m sure the person takes the picture before getting dirty because god forbid people look a tad frazzled when working up a sweat), and posing in front of the mirror, it makes me want to laugh at them for being so ridiculous. We get it; you work out, you’re in shape, but please, NOBODY LIKES TO SEE YOUR GYM SELFIE. So as I continue to scroll past this stupid type of selfie without liking it, I will shove another handful of Cheetos in my mouth and laugh at you. Who’s ridiculous now? It’s still you.

The Funeral Selfie

Here’s where it gets weird. Recently highlighted by social media for the appalling nature of these selfies, it seems people have actually been taking pictures of themselves while at someone’s funeral. When I looked this up on the Internet, I even found one where the person taking the selfie didn’t realize that HIS DEAD GRANDMOTHER’S OPEN CASKET WAS IN THE BACKGROUND. Nothing like opening a snapchat and seeing a DEAD person…Lovely.

I’m sure there’s more selfie types out there, but honestly, these are enough. A few selfies here and there is nothing, but some, like the funeral selfie (shudder) or the gym selfie are just pointless! Here’s a message to the general public: I like to look at your face every once in a while, but seriously, if you post one more picture of you holding your shirt up and showing off your ( sometimes very impressive) abs, or use your iPad to cover half your body in the mirror, I might just scream.