It is no mystery that the high school halls are filled with sleep deprived, overly caffeinated, and stress induced teenagers. Combine these ingredients and they make up the perfect recipe for some of the most interesting conversations to eavesdrop on.

For four years, I have been cultivating a list of quotes. These quotes consist of snippets of conversations I have overheard in the school halls. 

I began creating this list because I wanted to remember all of the funny things I heard. Looking back, it is not only something to smile at, but it contains memories. It encapsulates the very energy of what high school is. 

From my list of more than eighty quotes, I would like to share my top ten.

10: “Oreo Thins make you think that you’re eating healthy when in reality, you’re eating three times the Oreos.”

First of all, who would go for the Oreo Thins over the regular or Double Stuf Oreos? Given the option, the Oreo Thins would be my last choice. However, the Oreo Thins do like to trick you like that. They make you think you can eat more Oreos for the same amount of calories, but when you think about it, four Oreo Thins equal two normal Oreos. Oreos will never be healthy, but will I ever stop eating them? No.   

9: “We can not eat sugar and have a not fun day. Or, we can eat sugar and have a great day.”

I can stand behind the logic in this quote. Just a little bit of sugar can make your day just that much better. When the school day can be an endless drag of minutes that feel like they stretch into hours, sugar can be that extra little kick to help you survive the day. What is life without a little bit of sugar?

8: “I want to make big bucks, but I don’t want to be the breadwinner.”

I do not know what kind of job they want, but they better find a partner that makes loads of money if they want to make lots of money too. This was just something that cracked me up because how do you expect to make “big bucks” and not be the breadwinner? 

7: “Easy-Bake Oven will outlive me… and everyone else.”

This was in sociology class after we learned that the Easy-Bake Oven was invented in 1963 and new versions have been rolled out almost every year since. It is something almost scary to think about. If this product is already fifty-nine years old, will we ever see an end to it, or will it keep evolving long after we are gone? I figure only time will tell. 

6: “I keep drinks in my car because it’s free refrigeration.”

I hope they do not keep drinks in their car in the summer. I can agree though, the winter is the perfect time to use your car for refrigeration. I am also guilty of that. If I have something in my lunch that should have an ice pack, I just leave it in my car if it is cold because I know my car will act as my refrigerator. I mean, why go through the trouble of grabbing an ice pack from your freezer when you can just use mother nature? 

5: “I’m Greek too. Sophocles is my dad.”

This quote is a peak example of high schooler humor. One person will say something and another will respond and it has to be either a mom or dad joke. This quote was just something so random and spontaneous that I heard, it just made me laugh. I had to include this as this quote sums up the majority of jokes you hear in the halls of high school.     

4: “Currently, you’re homosubsapiens. You’re not quite there.”

Now, this is one of my only quotes where I have an attribution. This was said by Mr. Catlow during freshman biology class. This elicits a vivid memory. There were a couple select kids in my class who would get on Catlow’s nerves every day. It was just another one of those days where he was becoming so fed up with them, he said this quote. Just the fact he was able to connect biology to his frustration was almost like he had planned what he was going to say. Is this the only thing I really remember from freshman bio? Yes, yes it is. 

3: “I swear to god, if all seven billion people picked up two of these [pipette] and went to the ocean. . .”

The ellipses are to show not that the quote continues, but the speaker stopped speaking and trailed off after saying these words. There was no elaboration after this sentence. This makes my top three because the concept of this is intriguing and funny to think about. What would happen if all the people of the earth had two pipettes and went to the ocean?   

2: “Another day and I still haven’t used y=mx+b. I’ve only used it to calculate the slope of my life going downhill.”

I was super close to using this as my senior quote. Also, I think it is something many high schoolers can find relatable. Many of us have to go through all of these math classes that are not going to be applicable to us later when we enter our desired career. So, why not put the formula of y=mx+b to use and use it to calculate the slope of our lives going up or down? At least then, maybe we can make our math teachers proud. 

1: “Well they figured it out, gorillas don’t exist. They’re all just hobos in zoos.”

This is by far one of my favorite quotes as it is one of the first I added to my list. When I think of my list, it is the first one that comes to mind. I guess I should say I have a personal bias to this quote. The only question I should ask is what was going through the heads of this kid to say something like this?  

Honorable mention: “There’s something about Minecraft that just scratches your brain.”

Do I even have to explain this one? Minecraft is just that game that after a long and stressful day, you can just relax. You can build your little wood and cobblestone house and live a quiet life with your seventy dogs. Playing Minecraft is the time where there are no worries on your mind.  

This list should encourage you to keep your ears open whenever you are in the halls. You never know what tidbits of conversations or jokes you might overhear.