Brave – PG

Rating: 5

This is the perfect example of a mediocre movie. This will be the model of “meh” henceforth.

Brave had such a good marksman as the protagonist, but the movie itself missed the mark.  See, the more I think about this film, the less it impresses me. It was set up with a good stage, strong characters, and potential. In the way of characters, Brave hit the jackpot; Merida (voiced by Kelly Macdonald) was such a pain, even I wanted to scold her, yet she was a realistic teenager. This means she was perfect. (Unfortunately, it also means that she’s hard to watch as her mindless actions are very frustrating.) Her potential was tapped, but the plot’s strength lacked a great deal. Its moral could have had something better to say about fate and family. The only moral my mom got was, and I quote, “Don’t turn your mother into a bear.” Brave was very basic and predictable, and although the advertisements kept the plot twists hidden, by the middle of the movie it was obvious what was going to happen.

Yet, here’s the real problem: I want to say that the constant commercials and over advertising didn’t influence my view of the movie, but that would be lying. I was expecting so much more from it, and even when I saw the first half of it, I got excited about the ending. But Pixar’s creativity lacked very obviously; they had an original story to deal out rather than some knock off of an old hit, and they could have run with it. Meridawas such a good protagonist, such a lovable and hate-able character, but her brilliance was wasted on a poor plot and weak moral.

This movie was similar to a light show; I was amazed during and bedazzled afterwards, but the thrill faded quickly from my memory. Now all I can think of is empty excitement where there could have been magic.

The Amazing Spiderman – PG-13

Rating: 9

Appropriately directed by Marc Webb, The Amazing Spiderman turned out to be a coin toss for many. One either loves this movie with all their heart or hates it with a burning passion. Reason: it is completely different from The Spiderman trilogy directed by Sam Raimi that preceded it. Young Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) is portrayed as the wimpy, quirky, funny little dork in high school. And though he seems more upbeat than Toby Maguire’s Spiderman, he actually holds a darker past than he lets on. It was a dark and stormy night… and that’s enough spoilers for you.

Those who hate the movie are loyal to the old trilogy and dislike the changes; most likely the switching of the beloved Mary Jane Watson to Gwen Stacey (Emma Stone) as a main love interest. Those who love the movie are loyal to the comic books and are excited to see Peter as the big mouthed, overconfidently humorous teen they knew him as. If you couldn’t tell, I stand with the latter, so I naturally fell in love with Garfield’s perfect execution of Parker. I also, however, fell in love with the theme that was so perfectly woven in the movie. At least three times did they incorporate the theme of responsibility—not just being responsible, but having duty towards the community—without once uttering the words “with great power comes great responsibility.” Despite the fact that this is text book—or in our case, comic book—material, it was beat into our heads over and over again in the previous trilogy. It was a relief that Webb found a way to get the message across without using that message. He used action rather than excessive monologuing to show us a story of real responsibility.

One of the greatest features of the movie, however, was the fact that everyone acted human. There were no bullies in the school who were bullies unconditionally nor gentle uncles who were gentle unconditionally. Each person acted realistically, including Peter, who sometimes didn’t know what he was talking about and acted on anger. Emotions in the film were boosted; Peter was undeniably responsible for Uncle Ben’s death, as well as a few other unfortunate happenings, and he was permanently affected by each decision he made.

A brilliant example of responsibility while never uttering the word, The Amazing Spiderman lived up to my expectations and more.

The Dark Knight Rises – PG-13

Rating: 9

I laughed, I wept, I jumped in my seat, and I tensed in excitement: this is truly a movie that deserves the hype. Unfortunately, as my sister tried to explain to me when she got home from the midnight premiere, it is not one to ruin with spoilers… or easy to keep quiet about. What I can assure you of—without spoiling anything—is its excellence.

The Dark Knight Rises plays with the idea of freedom to the point of anarchy, and a scene in the middle of the movie gives us a chilling taste of lawlessness as Bane messes with the system. During all this, Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) struggles with returning to the aid of a city who doesn’t want him, as he has taken the rap for the death of Gotham’s “white knight”, Harvey Dent, from the end of the previous movie The Dark Knight. In light of this being a Christopher Nolan film, I am trying to be as hard on it as I can, but he hurdles even over my highest bar.

The real brilliance of the movie was the actors, the greatest performance I have ever seen being near the end by Michael Caine. It took me less than a few moments in the middle of Alfred’s scene for me to begin bawling in my seat. Anne Hathaway also surprised me greatly with her performance as Selina Kyle. Hathaway has always been a princess in my eyes, not one to break a nail on dangerous activities. Well, she dedicated her body to this movie, “working out five days a week on a regime that involved vigorous exercise, stunt training and dancing”(IMDb) and ended up knocking the role out of the park.

This Christopher Nolan film is up to par with every other one he’s done, and it includes incredible actors—five of them reuniting from his previous film, Inception—brilliant special effects, and an ending that leaves you satisfied with the feeling that you have, indeed, watched a true Batman film. Which is interesting, since this is not only the first live action Batman film to have never used the bat signal, but also the first where Batman appears in daylight.

Prometheus – R

Note: None of the following is a joke or over-exaggeration.

Post-Note: I am a gentle, fragile, feeble baby when it comes to scary movies

Rating: 4

I came home crying to my mother: truth. I was crying all the way home: truth. I cried twice during the movie: truth. It was an impressive movie: false. The thing about scary movies is they can be scary without actually being good. Thus, I will address both aspects separately and you may decide which one is more important. First of all, yes, Prometheus was completely terrifying. And yes, most of it was from brilliantly planned suspense scenes. I watched about a third of it from behind the safety of my slightly cracked fingers and it took me a few hours to get to sleep once I got home. The CGI and special effects were dazzlingly, terrifyingly realistic. I am still nervous about being around worms. If I had to use my normal scale in this aspect, I would use a 1 because I never, never, NEVER want to see that again. Reason: I do not actually enjoy being scared to tears.

However, if I were to judge the actual movie with my awesome scale, I would have to give it a 4. Reason: plot holes and unexplainable behaviors. Trying to be as vague as possible while still giving a helpful critique, I’ll ask a question: how many of you would approach a large unidentified alien worm thing which is rearing up and hissing like a cobra as you would a golden retriever puppy? Wait, how many? None? Wow, that’s weird. I guess the one who would have said yes has already died from stupidity. The best part: these are all scientists. Apparently, everyone who went on this trip had damaged the part of their brain which controls their common sense with chemicals. This sort of behavior, along with entering a mysterious “possibly created” structure without weapons and running into the path of the giant falling *spoiler* instead of to the side and out of its way, is probably why this is a horror movie. Without stupid people, there would be no excessive death. However, it is also a wonder that the last 20 minutes of the movie even had to happen, namely since the characters themselves vocally expressed a large hole in the plot, asking why the aliens had the desire to *spoiler-spoiler*, and said question was never answered.

Despite my fear of the movie and face palms for its characters, I did enjoy the main protagonist Elizabeth Shaw, a devout Christian, who believes even after all the death and horror. She comes to her conclusion despite believing that humans were created by these aliens: if we are to resort to being created by a being rather than chance, there has to be an ultimate source. Being one of the only ones who lived, she was apparently the brightest crayon in the box despite her being the one who was more frequently in danger.

Recap: if you are looking for a movie about aliens attacking people and people being afraid of aliens, go ahead and watch Prometheus. (Don’t be expecting another Alien though.) But if you’re looking for a really well thought out movie that will leave you satisfied, don’t waste your money.

Total Recall – PG-13

Rating: 8

I was expecting something else when I walked into the theatre to watch Total Recall.

I hadn’t had time to think about it, hadn’t had the need to ponder it, and I never even dove into the 1990 Total Recall before watching the reboot. Yet anyone who has watched a Schwarzenegger movie knows that his face cannot be erased from the character easily. I had seen Arnold Schwarzenegger as Douglas Quaid, the main character of Total Recall, and was worried that Colin Farrell’s slim figure and unaccustomed face would take away from the fantasy. It did no such thing.

Total Recall was officially rebuilt in this reboot, turning from fantasy into a science fiction movie which holds reminiscence of the 2009 Star Trek with its over-luminescence and futuristic setting. If you don’t mind suffering from epilepsy in the first scene—I’m amazed no one has sued for seizure risk yet—every bright shine adds to the effect of the unstable future the story is set in. The settings are complex and maze-like, similar to the plot of the movie; you’re unsure where you’ll end up until the very end. Unless, of course, you’ve seen Schwarzenegger do the exact same thing. The story is the same as the original movie—which is why it’s such a good one—but the change of scenery is the real treat. Objectives have changed, and new basis for the plot has been built, so it still appears as if a new story is drawing you in.

Another relief for me was the body count. Expecting this to be a crazy gory movie, what with the decapitations in the trailers, I was excited to find that many of the gory deaths are those of robot cops. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of people died, and probably many innocent people along with the baddies. It was all still a relief from the regular action movie formula, and I was glad it wasn’t all a dream… or was it?

Snow White and the Huntsman – PG-13

Rating: 5

I found Snow White and the Huntsman to be very similar to Brave, but in opposite ways. Plot had a deeper hold on the audience than characters; rather than a character moving the story along with their decisions, like Merida did in Brave, this movie had a villain which pushed the action along. The characters, especially Snow White (Kristen Stewart), were just taken along for the ride. As a character, I found Snow White to be very shallow and flat, yet the movie makers wanted her to be some kind of round character by forcing her to do amazing things. Example: she is described as “innocent” and such, but she quickly goes into  battle without a thought and doesn’t shed a tear when one of her close comrades kicks the bucket, though this may just be bad acting on Stewart’s part.

I also found it difficult to watch Kristen Stewart play Snow White, the fairest one in the land. Throughout the entire movie she looked tired because of dark rings around her eyes and her constant dull expression. Then again, I may just be letting out my frustrations of the movie on poor Stewart. The plot holes were endless. Why would the evil witch Ravenna (Charlize Theron) keep one young girl out of everyone else in the kingdom? Why would she send someone else to get her instead of doing so herself once she knew of her importance? Why did the troll scene even work?

The special effects were nice, the adorable little woodland sprites being the highlight of my experience, and there was nothing wrong with the way our beloved fairy tale was changed up, but something was missing. Again, similar to Brave, Snow White and the Huntsman had the potential to be something bigger and better. Unfortunately, it’s doomed to be a movie in my mind which colors’ will fade to white.