Merch madness

Merch madness

March is the [unofficial] month of merch, and band merch can be a real hit or miss. Across all genres, artists release various mediums of clothing and/or accessories available for purchase as a means to make money, and for fans to have the ability to express their love for an artist through what they wear. The thing about band merch is that regardless of the quality of the design, people are still going to wear it, and props to them for their bravery.

A Day To Remember is one of my all-time favorite bands. I adore them, I really do, but their merch makes me cringe.

...what even is this?
…what even is this?
Ah yes, octopus with unicorn horns: the unsung heroes of our society.
Ah yes, octopus with unicorn horns: the unsung heroes of our society.
A Day To Remember presents: your childhood nightmares.
A Day To Remember presents: your childhood nightmares.

It can’t all be bad though… right?

Wrong.
Wrong.

A Day To Remember aren’t the only ones guilty of atrocious clothing though. Allow me to introduce you to a band called Panic! At The Disco.

Story continues below advertisement
This font is the cause of my death.
This font is the cause of my death.
This snowman shirt is abominable.
This snowman shirt is abominable.
*screaming internally and externally*
*screaming internally and externally*

But none of Panic! At The Disco’s merch is anywhere near as bad as All Time Low’s.

Welcome back to your 13-year-old MySpace emo scene phase.
Welcome back to your 13-year-old MySpace emo scene phase.
This graphic is not “a-ok.”
This graphic is not “a-ok.”
I’m still hoping this is just photoshopped and was never actually processed and sold.
I’m still hoping this is just photoshopped and was never actually processed and sold.
It’s like middle school... but worse. And middle school was terrible for everyone.
It’s like middle school… but worse. And middle school was terrible for everyone.

Pierce The Veil has some questionable merch as well.

It looks like the title screen for a bad Nickelodeon TV show.
It looks like the title screen for a bad Nickelodeon TV show.
It’s like a bat morphed with a dog and also an ant... it’s also the devil’s nephew.
It’s like a bat morphed with a dog and also an ant… it’s also the devil’s nephew.
Are seat-belt belts not terrible enough without awful graphics?
Are seat-belt belts not terrible enough without awful graphics?

At this point, you must be wondering if there is any hope for nice band merch anymore. Let me assure you, there is, and here is my evidence.

twenty one pilots killing it.
twenty one pilots killing it.
The Story So Far is destroying the competition.
The Story So Far is destroying the competition.
Title Fight rocking it tumblr style.
Title Fight rocking it tumblr style.

And our grand champion… Being As An Ocean.

baao

baao2

baao3

Moral of the story: it’s always worth it to employ a genuinely good graphic designer.

Leave a Comment
Donate to Etched in Stone
$100
$1000
Contributed
Our Goal

Your donation will support the student journalists of Fossil Ridge High School. Your contribution will allow us to purchase equipment and cover our annual website hosting costs.

More to Discover
Donate to Etched in Stone
$100
$1000
Contributed
Our Goal

Comments (0)

Slander or profanity, even if abbreviated, will not be approved.
All Etched in Stone Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *