“Greetings, fellow beings that inhabit Fossil Ridge High School for six hours a day at minimum.” – Topanga McBride

The immortal words of Miss McBride will forever ring true in my heart. She and I, for those who aren’t aware, are the new Editors-In-Chief of this lovely online newspaper, Etched In Stone. Truthfully, Topanga’s the real Editor-In-Chief; I’m more like the bubbly, colorful sidekick who gives really cheesy quips during battle. I’m the Robin in this Batman comic.

Miss McBride, as I will call her from now on, is an enigma that I will try my best to explain. She lives on a farm, a lovely-smelling place, with cows living next to the swing set in her backyard. She seems pretty well-rounded, but the truth is far from sight. She’s actually a spy sent from Windsor to infiltrate the school newspaper and improve it! How dare they! Regardless, she’s here for justice, truth, and A-grade eggs.

Beyond Miss McBride’s personal fiascos, she’s actually a very reliable person. I, for example, depend on her to accomplish my every day toils: she does my homework, my laundry and occasionally brushes my beautiful hair as if I were a mermaid.

Some say that Miss McBride is a masterful ninja, her quiet attacks against grammatical errors and social injustice are unparalleled in this world. Well, you know, agree to disagree.

In other news, both she and I will be working side by side—literally—and jabbing our elbows into each other’s sides—also literally—for the entirety of the year in this small, cramped corner of the journalism room. Wish both of us luck.

(P.S. In all seriousness, I’ve got complete control of this situation.)

(P.S.S. I have successfully avoided posting this for nearly two weeks. To spite Topanga, I shall post this the day before hers will be published. Take that, Topanga.)